So Here I am Sitting in

View from my hot tub

Written after our wedding anniversary on January 30

So here I am sitting in the hot tub with light fluffy snowflakes falling on me and my large billed hat. It’s about 9 o’clock and I am not feeling guilty about sleeping in because I have decided not to feel guilty about a lot of things. We live in the woods but there are lots of houses across the marsh. If any distant neighbors have nothing better to do than watch older people going into their hot tub on the deck, they are to be pitied.

Yesterday we met up with some friends to celebrate our anniversary. I am all excited. I am actually in a restaurant! So I harangued him about doing a blog because of his incredible experience in the world of sports journalism. He stared at me with a blank face the whole time I was ranting out my feelings about having a passion of writing which I wish I had, etc. And that he should write a blog himself. I will have to call him today to apologize. And I will send him this little writing.

Anyway after 56 years, my husband and I have our routines even though he won’t be able to go back to work until after his second COVID-19 shot kicks in.

It has been OK for me until now this living through COVID-19. I do miss seeing people and doing normal things. I work at home anyway and don’t have obsessive compulsion issues about how and when I paint.

But lately my brain has gone into overtime even after I fall asleep reading a book. I jerk myself awake. Every little issue is magnified. I watch the clock with the time passing and me still awake, which of course makes me more anxious.

Over the years I have sworn mentally that I would just get up and go paint if I could not fall asleep, but I never have. Or get up and move to another bedroom if something involving snoring keeps me awake. I have also sworn feebly to give up a cocktail late in the evening knowing the liquor is a stimulant. But last night my daughter and granddaughter came over and we had a rousing hysterically funny charades-like game and she brought some elderflower liqueur. So my recipe is two parts lime infused gin to one part elderflower liquor with a splash of jalapeño juice which is another story. Maybe that is why the game was so funny.

So last night I decided to leave my husband asleep and venture upstairs to my studio to finish changes on the commission and to splash some paint on something I am playing with. I was happily satisfied and by 1 o’clock I decided to go to bed and promptly fell asleep and woke up at eight. We will see if this regimen continues. If my circadian rhythm has really changed I may as well adapt to it.

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